Sometimes, I just don’t know what should I do, what I’m going to do. I always love you, I always do that even you can’t imagine. But, sometimes, I just want to hear and follow my own conscience. That’s not mean that I don’t want hear what you say. I just, just believing my own way.
I know, you just want give me the best that you can do, I know you just want I will not change, always beside you. Dear Mom, I always care you, I always love, just don’t be afraid that I will leave you, even don’t imagine about that! Even if someone tell me that you got wrong, that you do a big mistake which couldn’t forgiven, I will still love you. Because you’re my mom, because I’m your daughter, because I, I really love you…
Mom, I know in your hard voice and gaze you just want to tell that you love me, I know that, and know I really realize that. But, this is my own choice, this is not your mistake, you just not yet understand.
I always want to blame my self, blame other person who maybe make you like this, but the one and only that should be I blame is the devil, the human killer from the start. I want to blow. I want to stir him until he got dizzy! He really amazing to make all of this, make people don’t think that he really alive, make people says that “I really happy with everything in this world, so I just don’t need God”. Whoaaa he really amazing, he really has some power to make people do some mistakes. Including me, I’ve been often become his victim.
But, I got this conclusion. I know, that I’m not perfect, that I’m not too strong to against devil. But, I know I can hope to God to protecting me, to guiding me, to telling what should I do. I will not stop to try, I believe the miracle will be come true. Maybe that’s not miracle, but the best thing that God will gives to me. I will try to persevere.